


Let us die young or let us live forever

by sleepless_nights_and_daydreams



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Cancer, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-11
Packaged: 2017-12-11 12:49:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepless_nights_and_daydreams/pseuds/sleepless_nights_and_daydreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One Shot i wrote when I was really depressed one night, I'm sorry I killed him :(</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let us die young or let us live forever

Charley sat on that chair. The same chair where he had sat for many an hour watching Niall slowly die in front of him, the same chair where he had sat when the doctor told Niall why his head ached every day. The very same chair where he had held Niall as he cried for hours because of that word, Cancer.

Niall lay on the hospital bed, wires coming out of him from every angle, filling his body with chemicals and medication which only prolonged his suffering. Niall started stirring in his sleep causing Charley to rush to his side. Niall croaked; voice hoarse from his now constant silence, something about water. He was too weak to lift his own arms after his last turn of ill health. Charley pressed the glass to Niall’s lips and gently tipped the cold liquid into his dry mouth.

Another tear slipped out of Niall’s half closed eyes and gently fell down his cheek. After the pain had gotten worse in his head Charley insisted on taking his boyfriend the doctor. After many a test and countless scans the doctor said the word “Terminal”. That was what scared Niall the most, there was no way out.

Charley couldn't lose Niall even though it was inevitable. Niall had given up though and Charley was close to doing the same. The day Niall had fallen down in the middle of the kitchen was when Charley knew that it would happen soon.

Charley held Niall hand’s in his hospital bed as he sat on that chair, fingers interlocked and gently rubbing his thumb over the pale flesh of Niall’s hand. Niall’s mum had shown up with a bag, packed full of Niall’s favorite pajamas and T-shirts, not forgetting his American flag all in one pajama suit. Niall had already stated that he wanted to be buried in it, he said “If I’m going to spend an eternity in that coffin, I want to be comfortable” it had earned small chuckled from Charley and a loud belly laugh from the Irish boy. Charley would miss that laugh.

Charley walked into the small and cold hospital room, set his bag on the floor and leant down to kiss Niall’s soft pink lips as he had done every time but Niall turned his head to the side making Charley kiss his cheek. Niall said it was because he hadn’t brushed his teeth but Charley knew that wasn't the reason. Niall’s lips had become cracked and dry and after Charley spending so long complimenting Niall’s almost criminally soft lips for all these years he hated himself for knowing he had made his love, his Niall, feel self-conscious about something so trivial.

After a particularly bad headache which lasted a good few days, Niall had cried yet again into Charley’s chest sobbing about how he was leaving Charley behind, leaving Zayn, Harry and Louis behind. He didn't want to die; he didn't want to have to spend days in bed in the pitch black surrounded by a deafening silence because his head was aching too much to move but that thing inside his head had different plans.

Niall had stopped asking Charley to look at him when his hair had fallen out. Those iconic bleached blonde locks had fallen out piece by piece and eventually he just decided to shave his head but the brown hair which was supposed to grow back never did. Charley had refused to stop looking at Niall telling him that no matter what happened to Niall he would always love him, just because Niall had no hair didn't mean he wasn't beautiful to Charley.

It had hit Niall that he would never get to marry Charley when they were lying next to each other on Niall’s hospital bed watching TV, and advert for an adult honeymoon resort had come on and Niall just burst into tears. He realized that he would never get to buy a house with Charley, he would never get to have children with Charley, and he would never get to grow old with Charley but worst of all he would never get to walk down the aisle to see his love in a suit and declare their love and make it official in the eyes of the law.

Niall wanted to celebrate his birthday so badly but he was too weak from his chemotherapy sessions. The other lads had made a cake and sat around Niall’s bed reminiscing about the good old days before Niall got sick, eating cake and singing all of Niall’s favorite songs as he slept. Niall had woken up the next day in Charley’s arms, smiling at the warm embrace and remembering the day they fell in love. It was a short lived happiness as he realized the doctor had told him that he had six months left to live and that was six months ago. He let a silent tear fall down his cheek and realized that he had literally days left to live.

Niall had known that today was the day but he didn't want to let anybody know. He spoke with his mum as she visited, just like she did everyday but as she left at dinner time he held her for that extra second and making sure that she knew he was grateful for everything she had done and that she knew that he loved her, he loved her more than life itself.

The boys visited again, on one of their daily visits. He laughed along with the jokes and congratulated and Louis and Harry finally going public with their relationship and gave Zayn his blessing to go out and pursue a solo career, he knew that Zayn loved music and he wanted his brother’s to be happy in his soon to be permanent absence. Liam couldn't be there because he had been on holiday with his family for the past month, his mum made him, saying she was upset that he hadn't spent enough time with his family since he was 16, but he sent his love and best wishes. When they left Niall held them all for an extra second, just as he had done with his mother, and repeated his love for them all just as much as he had for his mother as well.

Charley sat on the chair again. Lip quivering as Niall told him that he knew he was going tonight. Charley began to tell him not to think so negatively and never to say such things again but Niall knew deep down that he wanted his last night with Charley to be special. He slid over on his hospital bed to make room for Charley. Charley carefully climbed next to Niall, avoiding all of the wires and gently wrapping his arms around Niall, letting him just relax. Eventually Charley fell into a deep sleep, chest gently rising and falling Niall muttered a sad goodbye, whispered into Charley’s ears that he loved him and gently closed his eyes, making sure the last thing he ever saw was Charley.

Charley was awoken by the continuous beep of Niall’s heart monitor; he will never forget that sound. The long continuous high pitched squeal coming from that machine indicated Niall’s departure from his life. Niall was gone and Charley knew this but he didn't want to accept it. Charley gently kissed the younger boys head, climbed out of the bed and went to find a doctor, tears streaming down his face, eyes empty, soul destroyed.

Charley didn't want to let go but he knew he had too.

Niall was gone.

And so was Charley.


End file.
